Epic Magazine

oh hey, Audrey Hepburn In A Pool.

whats that, Audrey Hepburn In A Pool? you’re slightly bummed out that all those fuckers are making money off your image? and you’re kinda miffed that all those dumb broads out there say they are “big fans” when all they’ve seen in Breakfast At Tiffanys? yeah me too. they don’t realize that you have a pretty fucking amazing canon of work especially Charade and Wait Until Dark.

whats that, Audrey Hepburn In A Pool? nah, girl. take a rest. you’ve been handing out boners like Jameson at an irish wake for like 50 years this year.

you’ll wait for me in heaven, right, Audrey Hepburn In A Pool? its heaven, right, i mean, we can at least maybe make out a little bit, right? i know that sounds a little gay and all but i mean, you’re like way awesome, you smoke, you drink, and you swore at and practically threw a glass at a Hollywood studio executive when that dumb fuck wanted to cut ‘Moonriver’ (yeah i’m an actor too i nearly took a swing at a casting director once, i can kind of relate). hows things, you ask? yeah i’m a little bummed out too, but i’ve got Zooey pinch hitting for ya right now and at least Natalie Portman seems to be chilling out ever since she did Closer. did you see that? ok rad. we’ll watch it. you’d probably like it.

edit: thats really audrey hepburn in a pool.